Friday, April 07, 2006
i hate myself 2day....
wish i cud jus like used a knife and stab thru my heart... felt soooo cold and bitter 2day
2day.. nothin much happened.. the usuals.. jus that dear brought hp 2day.. cos she got something on after sch.. so she brought along the hp for 2dat only... during science lesson then on then see 3 msg from her.. early morning sms me.. but i nvr on hp... lucky i brought along.. cos i every friday bring hp along.. then during science lesson was in audi.. did some worksheets .. then slept but cannot sleep sian.. then was maths.. maths notin la... maths i slept.. was tired.. then recess. then cpa.. cpa.. finished with the coursework.. then dismiss.. waited for dear.. then come out liao.. walk her to the bus stop.. then went back to sch.. clear up the ncc room.. then relax at there.. then 2.00 .. changed to my house t-shirt.. then look at john throw javelin.. far.. then ... after javelin.. was discus.. discus.. felt very confident in qualifying.. but end up... nvr did.. throw.. first 1 .. tot qualify liao.. but haven so i threw the 2nd.. nvr.. then 3rd.. i swing my best ever swing.. swing untill arm muscle pull.. then now my arm pain.. but nvr... haiz... really let dear down.. i promise her that i will beat john but nvr did..tried my very best though... haiz... then nvr qualify.. went home straight.. didn't had the mood of staying and watched.. the more i watch the more i wanted to cry .. dunno y... after i nvr qualify.. my tears jus rolled down from my eyes.. tried to control.. but the tears jus rolled down.. mayb i m jus a emotional guy... then reached home liao.. bathe then slept... thinking y m i such a useless guy.. i m good at nothin.. everything i do.. there will be some 1 better off than me.. i m like good for nothin...thats y i hated my self 2day.. i hate myself cos i m jus a loser... not a sore loser ..but jus a loser.. cos i lose in every thing that i compete with.... nvr did win anything in my 15 years and 3 months of living...
//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift that i think it can't be real**]\\
Posted by ShenG at Friday, April 07, 2006