Saturday, April 29, 2006

haiz... haiz... 2day is haiz...

2day .. the same thing happened twice... haiz.. i jus dun understand

why..

talk to dear on the phone 3 times 2day.. first time got scolded by my mother... 2nd i went for a cycle so my mother dosen't noe that i call dear... 3rd time was at home... and i got scolded again..

haiz... jus dun understand why parents dosen't let their children to go steady... its like.. didn't they went thru out age before..? they didn't felt this way before..? haiz... i jus dun get it .. and why some parents allow their children to go steady... its very funny.. from wat my sis told me before that.. most parents have this traditional way of thinking that once u go steady u wun study... but that is soo totally wrong... i went steady my dear... and i still can study... i scored good marks in most of my test.. i proved them wrong.. but they still dun belive in me that i study... i studied for 2 hours straight... but my mum dosen't belive in me... WHAT SHIT IS THIS MAN!!??.. she thinks that i m lying to her... and when i m on the phone wif dear... she dosen't belives that i ask dear for maths question... OMG... wat the hell is wrong wif parents man... some times i jus wish they wud understand now teenagers are like that... some times i jus wish they wud let me go steady... u noe every time i do anything wif dear i have to do it secretly so that my parents dosen't noe... its sooo unfair man... some times i jus wished that both of us are adults... so we can go steady and do anything we like without even thinking that our parents mite noe...

haiz.... y dun they jus understand wat kids are like now...

i have a friend broke up bicos of their parents knowing that they went steady ... u noe thats rather tragic..thats sooo unfair... a peacefull and romantic relationship ended jus like that... haiz...


haiz....

//[** to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think it can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Saturday, April 29, 2006

Thursday, April 27, 2006

hmmm... nothing much to say about 2day only... that 2day was really really a slack day.. 9 periods straight in a aircon room.. first starting 2 periods.. eoa... typing .. mid year exam sian... then maths in audi... lol.. had fun in audi... took photos with a bunch of loners ..lol... then music in lab 2 again... then recess... then chinese.. chinese mr wong was taken over by auntie jmine the counsillor... haha.. she really talked sense into us... talked about life sutdy ... wat she said made sense...then english english... sian... was really fedup during english... i was really really du lan by redha... cos he say my place.. ok la... i admit i came late... then i jus told him nicely to go and sit other place... but he like shouted at me back.. then i told him again nicely... then he refuse then i m ok la.. then sat infront... then he kena punished for not doing homework so he went out .. then i go and sat at the back... then he come back in... then he was like throw my bad on the floor.. i was like WTF... then i got du lan.. then i shout at him... but i noe i was in the wrong starting... but he threw my bag... that is the part that i dun like... if u throw the bag then i can catch nvm.. but he throw on the floor... walao.. quarelled wif him...then no choice sian sat back at the front again... then i was like aiya wateva la... did some shit then went to sleep.. then woke up cos Mr said called me... then the whole class was like going shirley shirley... chee bye... fuck sia them... then i m like aiya wat fuck la... answer the qustion and went back to sleep.. then woke up dismissal.. tot of finding dear... but cannot find her... then i jus went home first... dear 2day running 2.4.. haha... wish u all the best... if u can run..lol...

k la john... this part is for u

first of all must thank me for that present of my.. cos u had many problems with ur life lately... so i bougt this book for u ... hope it can change ur life by reading that...

and read ur blog jus now... i didn't really get wat u meant by that "some one" that helmi hate... or wat shit... but i noe helmi is like that de la... he gets jealous easily ... is like he wants face ah... and about the catch ball thing ... cos he dun wan to be left out thats y he laugh even though he dun understand and jus say lame... but the problem is that the thing wasn't lame at all... his like that de la...most of the time i jus give in to him... cos its no point fighting ... cos in the end i dun any shit out from him... i noe u feel bad for him... i do too some times... but i jus didn't care about him.. haiz... jus dunno wat the hell is wrong wif him...

i can tell u some times lian de can be better than him but its only like 40% ..

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think i can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Thursday, April 27, 2006

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

woooo....................

sian 2day.. napfa 2.4 ... sian i dun even noe i pass or fail.. i aimed for 13 mins+.. but end up getting 14mins 16 secs...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

it all started... with meeting up with lian de.. at Jurong green CC.. cos we ride bike to Jurong stadium then he ask me where got place to pump tyre.. then i say there got 1 bike shop.. so i took him there.. then pump his bike ... then pump already set off for jurogn stadium.. then ride all the way ... to yuan ching... o most fell cos a car.. cos i was riding on the road.. then the car was soo near to me.. then the car horn at me.. then i jus turn back.. then omost lost little abit of balance.. then omost fell.. lol.. cos my hind wheel kena the car.. then i was like wobbling.. lucky never fall then will trumped by the car.. wowowow lucky... then... reached Jurong stadium then saw wow .. our class was rather early.. but only a few came. .then shock to see that john helmi not there... then i was like thinking they will earlier then us ... but in the end opposite.. then rode into the stadium.. then park our bike.. then strench .. then the run started..started with a slow run for me ... endure for 3 rounds which was 1.2 .. cos that wat i m have been enduring in school.. then after the 3rd round... no breath.. so i walked for like 200m then started to run again.. then run halfway tired walked again.. then last round liao.. i chiong all the way... was freaking tired.. but i jus endured.. then was thinking of dear... i kept thinking of dear... then suddenly i felt very light... i felt like every ting was soo fast... was like the first second i was running the last round then the next sec i finish.. it was soo fast... then god damn shit i got a 14 min 16 sec... walao i freakin du lan cos i aimed for 13 mins.. but then nvm la atleast i improved 2 mins from last year run.. but i dunno whether i pass anot... tmr go school must check... if fail need to rerun... which means... thursday i have to run which means i can see dear...which means i can see dear run... hahahaha.... see i soo bad...haha... dear.. u better pray for me to pass if not i will be seeing u at jurong stadium this thursday..lol... then see u run.. hahhaa... k la... scared lata u angry wif me again... ok..stay happy oways ok dear...


//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think i can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Sunday, April 23, 2006

its not ur fault.... ok.. i m the 1 who shud say sorry... i have been very stubborn and stupid all these time... i promise u that i wun make u cry but i jus did again... its all my fault..

i dun wanna break up with u..

why is this happening again.. it happened for the 3rd time ... why
whywhywhywhy
why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some time its jus soo crazy that nothin can save me..

i tried to be perfect but nothin was worth it...

u say it best when u say nothin at all..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i m corrupted!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i did this seperation cos of the mid year is coming and i want u so concentrate on ur studies... u have been neglecting ur studies... i wan u to pass ur mid year so that u can have ur freedom.. and not to worry about ur parents gonna scold u or wat..ur studies are soo much harder than my.. ok.. mid year coming in a weeks time.. lets work hard and study hard..

let jus tolerate for 2 weeks .. we can do it for 2 months cos of ur phone being confiscated... so wat is 2 weeks to us... .. ok.. i noe u can do it.. i have faith in u!!!i trust u..bicos i love u!!

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't it can be real**]]\\

Posted by ShenG at Sunday, April 23, 2006

Thursday, April 20, 2006

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

m i born useless?.. or m i jus recently became useless?.. or did i do something to become sooo useless.!!!!!?????

i can't understand myself 2day.. i jus became sooo damn rebellious 2day... y...WHY... for wat cost.. have i ever done.. m i oways this way... can some 1 jus give me the answer.. cos all the question i ask i can't even figure it out myself... m i jus plain useless..??

excuse from class 11.30 did some sports leader thing..gotten ready for tmr sports day.. then waited for the lorry.. then lorry came at around 1 then load up all the things.. then went to jurong stadium.. then reached jurong stadium.. got anotehr school using the stadium so we can't set up so we put all the equipmet into a room. .then went back to sch.. then reached school 2+ then tot of waiting for dear.. but instead went home.. cos i had nothin to do in school.. then went home.. bathe then went on.. played dota on bnet... already felt fedup cos of all losing but i still somemore played with john thinking that i mite win john... but who knoe. .after playing john i felt even more du lan.. lost to him sooo worst... 20/03.. it was damn embarassing... lost to a guy who only played dota barely for 24 hours... and it was a damn tragic lost... !!!! i was like banging the mouse ... cursing and swearing... was sooooo angry.. i felt hatred within myself... then after the game.. john ask me whether team up with him vs com... but then i told him i wanted to cool down.. soo i went out for a walk.. then breath in and breah out deeply.. then called shu ying ask where is dear.. then she sayed they all in mac.. so i went to mac fidn dear.. then saw they were about to go off.. then walked her to bus stop.. then i was rather angry then but i control.. tell myself not to venge my anger at her... so.. i slowly cool down ... but then she ask me a question which made me even worst... but i nvr did express out.. i jus sign kept quiet... then jus say u wanna go ok lor.. but make sure u study there... i felt useless then... then went to video eazy... thinking that mayb i borrowed a comedy dvd then can make me feel happy again.. so i borrowed the wedding crasher.. then on my way back.. i jus felt super stupid... i regretted not studying well for my psle.. then i now end up in technical stream.. but dear is in the express stream.. whenever she say she fail some thing i jus feel hopeless and useless .. cos whatever homework she dunno how to do.. she can't ask me.. cos i dunno how to do them... so that was wat makes me soo useless.. further more she has to study with some 1 esle.. which makes me feel uncomfortable and jealouse.. but then if i go i will be an absolute extra over there.. cos i dun study watever she is studying..

but wat the hell of regretting now... every thing is done and being done for... now all i have to do is to look ahead...

some times i jus hate myself... i jus dun understand why...

m i that useless to every 1?


//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't it can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Thursday, April 20, 2006

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

WAHAHAHA..!!

2day in school.. was rather slack la.. most of the period i slept.. starting english slept abit.. then pe.. then EOA... was tired from pe.. then slept for awhile then dun wnana wake up but i force myself to wake up to do the worksheet then recess... lol.. recess.. no palce to sit so sat at the back the 4 cahir there... then john no place to sit.. so i and lian de went and carry 1 stone chair for him.. see we soo good.. we care for him leh..lol... then after that was science.. science i study abit then slept then wake up study then slept.. then wake up then was pc.. pc i kept shifting place.. cos was very hot.. then shift to a place under the fan then was very nice .. sleep untill soo song then wake up jus nice dismissal... then went for ncc.. then rmb dear the sister hi card.. so went to 7-11 buy the top up card.. then suddenly stomach ache.. so rushed home and shit.. then shit liao went back school.. lol.. then had ncc...

2day the feeling was like soo there.. but i missed my oppurtnity(whatever way u spell it) WOO.. i love 2day ncc training.. suddenly 2day got the feeling of pumping people and scolding people.. damn nice.. its liek suddenly i have it .. but i jus let it slipped away... haiz sian.. cos 2day no starting parade.. then 2day soooo slack.. slack inside the room.. listening to mp3 . .then sleep.. then wake up again. .then slept again.. then fahmi suddenly came in wanted to take rifle for the part b.. then went and see part b where they were.. but cannot find them.. so instead went and find part a .. then saw them drilling.. then they were soo slack.. then i jus scolded them.. then edward pump them.. then i was like.. scold scold scold... wahh the feeling of scolding was soo nice.. . not saying i bais or wat.. but cos ever since i got my rank.. no 1 respect in ncc.. not even those bloody sergeants.. felt rather fedup.. then i 2day duno why i had the this feeling of scolding.. then i jus scold.. but i m not angry or bad mood or anything.. jus WOOO.. felt soo good... then after that b4 dismissal parade.. saw dear then ask her whether she wants to wait for me.. then she say i bu yao lian.. (no face) then i was like .. sian.. then bluff bluff walked away then she was like ok ok la sorry la jokin only la.. then i say ya la i oso jokin only... then she say she not sure whether she going to mac.. then told her if cannot wait is ok for me de la.. then say bye bye then went for the dismissal parade.. then after that... finish liao rush to mac.. then saw germaine.. then ask her where was dear.. then she say dear went off leh.. then i was ok ok... then walked home.. then reached home... bathe ..ate dinner.. then playing DOTA with lian de.. halfway dear call.. then talk to her... haha...then here i m blogging

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think it can be real*]\\

Posted by ShenG at Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Monday, April 17, 2006

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH




ALLL WET!!!!

haiz... lol.. .2day was a memorable day for me and bao ren.. lol.. !!!

2day.. normal go sch.. then go home ... soo normal.. haha... then go back school cos i going to bao ren house before go to Jurong Stadium.. then waited for bao ren to dismiss.. then saw edward hang out with him for awhile.. then went fidn dear in F&N then saw her in the white apron.. lol.. very cute.. i wonder how she look with the hat on.. haha.. k la dun laugh about u liao... then .. 2.30 bao ren came out then .. then went and tell dear i going off first....then went and took 98 to bao ren house.. then the sky like black black grey grey. .then bao ren keep saying plzz dun rain plzz dun rain.. lol.. then reached his house liao.. then his house like quite big la... then no computer sad..but atleast he got SCV.. lol.. then watched some documantry on WAR.. then after that suddenly rained soo heavily.. then i told bao ren think no need to go.. but bao ren insist of going.. then i think ok la jus go la.. then he took 1 umbrella liek rather small.. lol.. then reached downstairs he open the umbrella i only walked 10 steps i whole body wet liao.. walao.. the walk 30+ steps my shoe wet liao.. sian.. then walao.. by the time we reached jurogn stadium.. i whole body wet and i m dripping with water.. then saw xiao yuan melissa and lydia there then oso saw yi rong.. lol.. is sure to have de la.. haha.. then after that walao saw peopel like walking home then i was OMG..!! I WALKED ALL THE WAY AND MY WHOEL BODY IS WET AND THE WHOLE DAMNE THING IS POSPONE... WAT THE !!!!...sian... then i and bao ren walked back to his house.. then i told bao ren aiya no need to open umbrella we are already wet wats the use of teh umbrella.. lol. .then walk to his house then called mum.. then mum told me to go home.. so i went home.. then took 98 back then saw lydia yi rong chee fu in the bus.. then reached home.. bhalf way bathing hear my handphone rang.. then i was liky praying that mum dun look at my hp cos i scared lata is dear call.. lol.. then i quickly bathe then come out then saw she still in the kitchen then i was like.. wah heng ah.. then check the hp then really is dear.. then 5 mins lata she call again.. then pick up .. then talk to her.. then talk for like 15min++ then put down.. then played dota with lian de... then i was like omg... i lost untill soooooo tragic...14/1 sian.. 14 to 1 leh.. sian... nvm lata playing 2 on 2 with simon tiaosin and lian de..

haha actually right lian de.. is that not bad afterall if u get to know him.. but some times he got the bad point that i can't stand it.. but i jus tolerate...

sorry dear... jus now wasn't there for you to cover u from the rain.. but i got even wet than u ... cos i wet untill my boxer oso wet.. its like my whole body oso wet... my whole uniform wet.. my socks wet my shoe wet... haiz...hope i dun catch a cold... or mayb i shud .. so that dear can worry about me ...hahaha jokin la... i dun wan dear to worry... hahaha...

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift that i think it can't be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Monday, April 17, 2006

Friday, April 14, 2006

haha... yesterday morning i jus wanna forget it.. forget the bad time remembe rthe happy time.. haha made dear happy again yesterday.. but some problems after we came home.. but i noe dear 2day is had fun and she is defiantly happy... even though 2day is our 2nd month we nvr celebrate .. but i m happy that i can hear her voice.. and i noe that she is happy too.. haha...i wanna see her smile and laugh oways...

2day very odd leh... met alot of my friends by coinsedence... first saw yinhao and his friend that i noe yesterday on the train.. we took the same train y coinsidence then took the same bus by coinsedence oso.. then saw han sheng tiao sin and ben at bus stop then saw amirah alighting.. then saw shi hui on the bus.. walao.. is like WHAT THE.. i meet so many friends by coinsedence in 1 day.. then the worst of all is that i saw some gym mates at the coffee shop.. wow.. its like sooo tyco.. sooo coinsidence... lol

14/04/06 = 85% happy day 15% not soo happy day
such a coinsedence day
special day for me and her
got my new headphone day
got my new mouse pad day
tasted the new milk shake from mac (sooo sweet)
ate untill soo full for jus $12

lol

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think it can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Friday, April 14, 2006

Thursday, April 13, 2006

promised her and promised myself never will this happened again... but.. it just happened... why is this happening... jus bicos of a stupid sms i send .. made the whole day as sucky as that time... y must we relive the time again.. why... why can't we jus be happy... why must i venge my anger on her... why... why yesterday my mood wasn't as normal as the other days.. why... why... why i had a bad day yesterday.. why... 2day surppose to be a happy day for me and her... but instead this... and the worst thing is that... tmr .. will be even a happier day for the both of us... but instead this happen... why m i soo stupid ..why...why i dun understand how she feel.. why ... mayb i'm jus born not to impress girls... mayb i m born to be useless.. mayb i m jus born to be stupid... why dun i have any brain to think that she was angry.. and i even mistaken her that she lied to me.... i jus suck ... i m jus a useless hopeless worthless freak who needs to be told to do things... it rained... and i m thinking wat for heaven layed tears on me when i m doing something that make her sooo angry and i even hurt her feelings... why ... no 1 can ever answer my questions..

i jus wish and hope by tmr she will be alright.. she will be ok...she will be fine... i wanan see her laugh and smile... cos by then i noe that she is ok... but untill now... she hasn't smile... haiz...

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN...I WISH ALL OF THIS MISUNDERSTANDING DIDN'T HAPPENED AT ALL... I WISH I CAN ENJOY 2DAY WITH HER.. I JUS WISHED THAT WUD HAPPEN!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


//[** to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think i can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Thursday, April 13, 2006

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hHHHHHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



WHYWHYWHYWHY

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME... WHY!!!

haiz... 2day is my worst day of the month.. ahhh... 3 things that make me super angry but 1 thing that make me super sad...!!!! haiz..first had a misunstanding with a friend... how the hell i noe u were talkign about me.. everyday everytime everyminute u were calling me pussy hair.. u noe that is very disgusting and embarassing.. u atleast call me kentang.. nvm.. its ok.. but pussy hair... wakao... super embarassing and humilated..then 2nd thing is that the ncc data in the com all lost.. then i was very angry.. cos alot of document that i edward zhen long .. did alot of it .. then save inside.. then jus lost ..WTF.. then 3rd thing.. well 3rd thing is all i have to be blamed.. cos i was soo stupid that i made her angry.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh... a stupid misunderstanding.. a stupid bad mood ..a stupid day... a stupid guy.. a stupid brain.. IM SOOO STUPID.. ... m i born to be stupid m i born to be hated m i born to pick on.. AM I BORN TO BE LIKE THIS SHIT LOAD.. i m really sorry.. it was a big misunderstanding..

i m really sorry... i really didn't mean to hurt ur feelings... i m the 1 to be blame...

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think it can be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

hahaha..
2day.. power ah.. total slack day for me.. starting PE.. then had CPA.. CPA i went into the internet for the whole 1 hour.. after that Maths i sleeping.. sleep untill dunno that dear walked pass my class untill that lian de shout.. hey yong sheng ur girlfriend.. lol.. but nvr go and bother.. cos was very sleepy.. .. then after that was EOA.. EOA sleep.. then english.. walao double saidigigi nvr come.. so i slack.. talk cork. .then after that ... dismiss liao.. me and john went and find dear and audrey.. then audrey told us they cancel the PAP thingy liao.. then waited for dear.. cos she haven finish her paper.. then come out liao.. then she was rather angry.. cos they nvr tell her y cancel.. then she sad ah.. then i pei her go canteen..then told her i need to go bank.. so bank then withdrew money ate lunch then went home slept.. all the way to 4.30 then went to gym.. then 6 went to sch and find dear.. wait for like very long ah 30 mins then she come out... then walk to the bus stop then after that went home.. then rested awhile then went out for dinner.. then on the way hoem dear called me.. then talk talk then reached home.. bathe then on com.. then now blogging...haha wanna pla DOD liao

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think it could be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Tuesday, April 11, 2006

currently now i m blogging in sch... not much happened la.. jus finished PE... now having CPA.. then the coursework finish only waiting to print... after CPA will be maths.. lata ask dear... wat thing about JP when she is having band lata on.. and she is like going to JP.. huh? dun get it... some thing is fishy around here...haha aiya i wun think untill the other way round de la.. i belive in her.. haha...

now a days alot people kept hitting me... for no reason y.. yesterday play basket ball jus bicos i lousy in throwing the ball into the net they already wanted to hit me... then some people hit me.. i jus tolerant.. can't do much.. if i fight more thing will happen.. and i dun wan trouble trying my best not to fight.. the most i can do is tolerant.. if can't torelant any more then the most i can say .. sorry i got no choice... warn u before ... will be showing my wraith by then... haiz... there is 1 song.. that gose " a boy kick my ass jus last week.. i turn around and i smile at him .. i didn't hit him instead i wish him well cos i will be laughing my head off when his burning in hell"..

lol... haha

k la gtg liao... go home then blog agian

Posted by ShenG at Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006

2day.. was happy la.. sooo happy.. with dear around hahaha totally forgotten about yesterday sadness when i m with her..

2day... speech day.. march march.. then finish liao sat behind.. then watch the performances.. then see other people take award.. then talk cork and laugh with hasim fairus and kian long.. lol.. gay sia them any how poke .. . then after that band turn to perform. .then saw dear the hair.. walao.. soo ugly... clip all the way up.. sorry dear.. not meant to hurt u thoug but its true... but then after that she put down then told me is she no choice...lol.. then after the speech day took some photos.. then relax in the room then lock the room then waited for dear.. then zong ren raphael wei liang and syafiq all there tok cork.. then wat wanna take pic of me and dear together.. walao.. then dear come out liao.. walk her to mac... then found our place.. sat with dear alone.. hahah...was very happy even though i was tired.. then wanted to sleep.. but i try not to sleep.. haha... dear miss that moment together with u... told that i want to make 2day a special day cos.. next week is our 2nd month together... haha... but next week whole week busy then some more our anniversary fall on the friday .. 14/04.. then is good friday.. so celebrated with her.. even its jus a mcdonald lunch but it was worth it... haha...


love and miss u oways CHO XIAO ZHU DEAR DEAR!!!

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift that i think it can't be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Saturday, April 08, 2006

Friday, April 07, 2006

i hate myself 2day....

wish i cud jus like used a knife and stab thru my heart... felt soooo cold and bitter 2day

2day.. nothin much happened.. the usuals.. jus that dear brought hp 2day.. cos she got something on after sch.. so she brought along the hp for 2dat only... during science lesson then on then see 3 msg from her.. early morning sms me.. but i nvr on hp... lucky i brought along.. cos i every friday bring hp along.. then during science lesson was in audi.. did some worksheets .. then slept but cannot sleep sian.. then was maths.. maths notin la... maths i slept.. was tired.. then recess. then cpa.. cpa.. finished with the coursework.. then dismiss.. waited for dear.. then come out liao.. walk her to the bus stop.. then went back to sch.. clear up the ncc room.. then relax at there.. then 2.00 .. changed to my house t-shirt.. then look at john throw javelin.. far.. then ... after javelin.. was discus.. discus.. felt very confident in qualifying.. but end up... nvr did.. throw.. first 1 .. tot qualify liao.. but haven so i threw the 2nd.. nvr.. then 3rd.. i swing my best ever swing.. swing untill arm muscle pull.. then now my arm pain.. but nvr... haiz... really let dear down.. i promise her that i will beat john but nvr did..tried my very best though... haiz... then nvr qualify.. went home straight.. didn't had the mood of staying and watched.. the more i watch the more i wanted to cry .. dunno y... after i nvr qualify.. my tears jus rolled down from my eyes.. tried to control.. but the tears jus rolled down.. mayb i m jus a emotional guy... then reached home liao.. bathe then slept... thinking y m i such a useless guy.. i m good at nothin.. everything i do.. there will be some 1 better off than me.. i m like good for nothin...thats y i hated my self 2day.. i hate myself cos i m jus a loser... not a sore loser ..but jus a loser.. cos i lose in every thing that i compete with.... nvr did win anything in my 15 years and 3 months of living...



//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift that i think it can't be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Friday, April 07, 2006

Thursday, April 06, 2006

sian... 2day is a real sian... k la not so real sian la...starting Mr Cheen call our class to stay back.. cos he caught our class eating in during lesson... then i think aiya .. it soo common nowadays..lol.. then he say he say his gonna call out the names.. then i think aiya i sure kena de la.. the scarly he skip my name.. then i like WAT THE!!! ..lol... instead of feeling happy i feel shock.. lol.. then after that had EOA .. EOA got some people haven finish with the coursework.. then i already finish liao... then sat infront.. then told Mrs Long let us use internet.. but she nvr..lol.. but she let us revise on our typing.. like wat the.. then maths.. maths i slept then walk around the school.. then after maths was music.. music went back to com lab.. go there do nothin use internet.. then lian de ... use his mp4 put dota(defense of the ancient) then he play on the com..lol.. then was recess.. recess and find dear.. talk to her for awhile then went for my meal.. then after that was chi.. chi have oral.. sian.. sure fail de la... then was english.. english didn't do much la.. watch some boomerang show..lol.. then dismissal.. have inter house throwing event compeitition.. i took part in discus.. then is 3 o clock start.. so john tot of going to IMM to buy some products.. then went adn find dear.. told her i going IMM.. so cannot pei her.. infact lata she got band de ma... so wun be soo sian.. then went to IMM liao..go there 7-11 bought marshed potato.. cos was hungry.. then after that went back to school.. tot of finding dear at canteen.. then look at the time was 2.40 then think mayb dear already in band room.. so i went and changed to my house t-shirt.. then was waiting for the discus event to start.. then sat down with dovan.. was going to watch john throw.. but then .. scarly rain.. sian.. some more rain untill very heavy. .so they cancel 2day the event.. i think they will pospone to tmr.. then tot of waiting for dear.. but the time was only 4.15 she 6 then release.. then i was like scared that mum will scold cos she noe if rain is 100% pospone.. so jus hang around in sch untill 4.30 .. then saw huilin told her to tell dear that i going home first.. then went home...

then reached home.. bathe slept.. then on the com.. played dota.. then ate dinner.. then here i m blogging

//[** to see you when i wake up is a gift i think it can't be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Thursday, April 06, 2006

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FELT SOOO ANGRY IN SCH... AND IS THAT I FELT SOO ANGRY WITH MY SELF i dun even noe y... every time people make fun of me.. make fun of my race make fun of dear name make fun of dear... and i jus sit there and didn't do anything.. i promised my self that i will fight for my pride and dignity.. but wheneva they make fun.. i jus did nothin at all.. i jus treated like nothin happened... i acutlly ignore them... WHAT THE FUCK I M DOING.. i noe... edward told me to control myself...cailm my anger with myself... that wat i have been doing all this time...

people hit me... people kick me.. people make fun of me.. people say wat eva shit on me.. people pick on me.. people bully me..WAT THE FUCK... HELLO.. i m not born to be do all this shit ok.. i m born from a pleasent family ... i m a normal guy.. dun eva do all this shit to me.. alright... this time i promise my self sooo hard that i will cut a slit on my tounge that i stand up for my rights and dignity..... dun think u i m some geek or nerd that u can pick on.. dun eva underestimate me.. u will feel my wraith upon ur neck.. that i will swear to god that i will hit the fuck out of them if they were to provoke me again... and i swear to god that i m not gonna let them make fun of dear's name or my family or my race.. cos this time its time that i get to my old sch days.. the day when i used to be a real gangster... time that i get back to life .. no more lying from myself from the past.. is time that i show my true identity.....i dun even noe why... m i really that bad..?


felt angry with my self when i m in the gym.. can't really carry those heavy weights cos i didn't had the strenght to carry that much.. i dun even noe why... but the feeling is coming back slowly.. the inner strenght is coming back.. the outer courage is coming back... no more some nice guy.. sorry if i will hurt u dear..cos i was nvr meant to hurt u...

HAIZ.. WHY... WHY GOD...GOD WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME.. WAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU...


//[*to see you when i wake up is a gift that i think i can't be real*]\\

Posted by ShenG at Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Monday, April 03, 2006

2day.. well nothin much happened.. la.. the usuals... go sch.. then i had to stay back cos got speech day reharsal.. then is some more the last 1.. then during recess saw my name under the delta house participation list.. then saw o wah.. i m taking part in discus.. and i m gonna lose ... 100.1% is a sure lose for me de la..my throwing very lousy... then during the reharsal kena scolded by Mr Lee ..cos after the march out the UG were very noisy... then he scolded us a bunch of ass holes.. then adanan was like... "we must learn from our teachers bicos they r our so called future examples.. so now he tot us the word ass holes.. so we can use it now.. then if we got caught .. we jus have to say its Mr Lee that taught us how to use"..lol.. then we were like laughing laughing...then after speech day which was around 5.45 .. went and change my boots to shoe.. then dear come and find me telling me that she go home first... then in my mind i was like.. "sian wat i guess was right... she will not wait for me.. cos she seldoms wait for me" but cannot blame her oso.. cos gonna rain liao... then... i jus say" o ok lor then u go first bye bye" then went back to the room and wait for the others.. to change then change liao was about to lock the room.. then i went and find dear again.. then i tell her wait for me awhile cos i only need to lock the room .. but then she dunno whether want to wait for me.. then i jus told her u wanna go home then go lor... not stopping her anyway.. then she walk off liao... felt quite sad.. then went and lock the room.. then walk to the gate.. then saw dear.. then i curious.. then i ask her y suddenly she waited for me.. but she nvr reply.. then i think mayb she guilty then felt happy cos she waited for me.. cos she seldom wait for me.. ..lol.. then pei her to the coffee shop.. bought her food then she go and take bus liao.. then say my bye and went home..

//[**to see you when i wake up is a gift that i think it cAn't be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Monday, April 03, 2006

Saturday, April 01, 2006

wahahahaha... woke up in the middle of night.. dunno wat happened to me... jus suddenly woke up.. 3++.. then suddenly came and on com.. walao i dunno wat the hell i m doing..lol.. acutally no la.. cos i need to check the SYFC thing ma.. then jus on on.. then lunky sis slping at the living room then dunno..lol.. then watched bleach.. gonna finish liao.. hahahha.. then after 15 mins off com then went back to slp.. then thinking that dear wun sms me so i switched off the fone.. didn't noe that untill i woke up around 9+ then on hp.. then saw wat the 2 sms from her.. walao.. then i reply her .. then wait very long she haven reply.. then tot mayb she doing flagday busy.. then went out and eat.. then eat finish liao.. still haven reply.. so i sms her again.. then went to ntuc buy rice.. then reached home still haven reply.. tried callign her .. then her hp off.. then i think mayb her hp off.. then she told me that she will come and find me at mac 2day.. so i call up yenni tell her i will punch in early .. cos lata dear come find me then i haven even start work yet.. so i 1 reached there... started doing lobby for like 1 hour then went into kitchen did filet untill 4 go and break.. then come back from break.. did hot.. all the way to 5.30 .. then saw my hp.. got dear sms then she say her fone no batt.. then i was rather relive la.. haha then sms her then call her.. then talk talk.. then she told me to go home then call her then i say ok.. so went off.. then took 198 home.. then on the bus sms... was jealous when she say she saw alot of shuai ge.. but then this type of feeling is normal de la.. so i reply her i alot of chio bu in mac.. hahah which is not real... cos all of my colleags all not soo good looking ...hahahahaha... then some more i do hot is all the uncle and auntie..lol...

then reached home.. bathe watch tv.. then waited for mum and sis to go otu and eat.. so i can call her ... but then nvr did.. cos she eating mah then nvr call her.. then was about to call her liao.. she told me she returning her fone to her father.. sooo then i sian.. but then nvm can chat with her online hahaha so wun miss her that much


//[*See you when i wake up is a gift i think i can't be real*]\\

Posted by ShenG at Saturday, April 01, 2006

wahahahaha... was jus sooo happy yesterday...

lazy to type out... cos its was jus tooooo muh of thing happened... and happy things happened..

but then i think i gonna have bad luck for 7 years..

BROKE A MIRROR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

sian..

but anyway... i was jus soo happy...yesterday... even though i only spend 3 to 4 hours with dear.. but was happy.. cos very long nvr spend time with her liao... haha

and yesterday oso fun ah. .the 4 loners went out hahahaha... first time ah no argument among the 4 loners... hahaha...

dear miss and love u sooo much..and o ya john dun be too sad ok.. read ur blog jus now... every thing will turn out jus fine ok

//[**see you when i wake up is a gift i think i can't be real**]\\

Posted by ShenG at Saturday, April 01, 2006